bad girl mei

i know smoking isnt a good hobby
i know smoking isnt good for health
but yesterday night.. i smoke for the second time in my life..

it was a miserable night..
everything seems so wrong..
suddenly, i wanted to jump out from my routine so much
as emotional as usual.. i end up smoking in the garden

deciding to smoke is a great challenge for me
i m so so so uncertain....
holding the cigaratte for about 20 minutes
to smoke or not to smoke
i put it near to lips and ppl lighted for me
i felt so nervous and got choked for few times
after awhile, i discovered something new
those herb smell really nice
it make me feel comfortable by a little
overall, beside the choking part, i kinda enjoy the process

however, smoking do bring side effects
my hand quiver for a period of time and i seems like floating in the air
also, my throat feel so so so dry
haiz... shouldnt let it control over me

in conclusion. smoking does not help me to release stress!!
arghhhhhhh......